Waiting for Pretzel

It finally looks like winter. The kids are outside playing in the snow as it comes quickly down. The whole picture is more what I had in mind when I imagined giving birth at the end of January. Here I am at almost 38 weeks along! Her birth is imminent and I am able to acknowledge our lives are about to change again.

I had a very soul nurturing baby shower this last weekend.  As my friends and family held candles and shared their prayers, intentions and wishes for me, Pretzel, and our family, I was deeply struck by the heartfelt openness in the room.  It was a Mother Blessing and I soaked it in like lotion in my dry cracked hands. I am so grateful for my sister and mother-in-law who worked together to make it happen.

With a freshly painted bedroom (thank you honey, and my father-in-law), a few meals in the freezer, a glider soon to be delivered, and the first load of freshly washed newborn clothes waiting for the dresser, the only thing we are missing is a name for this little girl.  I love her nickname, Pretzel, but it won’t do as a legal name.

When I am up until midnight and later, tossing and turning on my sides, and arranging pillows “just so” for my comfort, I think about names. I think about our selection process.  I think about all the names I like the sound of but not the meaning, or vice versa. At first I thought we should choose a name that follows the other children’s names. 

Those guidelines are as follows:

• Hebrew in origin
• The first letter and the last sound are original and not shared with any sibling
• The name includes the letters, “a”, “e”, and “l”
• Can not end in “k” or the sound will be lost when we say their first and last name “Keller”
• We like the meaning and it points to something in nature
• Last and least important, it could pass for something Irish even though it’s Hebrew in origin

But now I am ready to throw all those parameters out the window and just find a name we like! Similar to many of my previous personal choices about birth and naming, this precious fourth child has already challenged all of those processes.  Perhaps it’s only fitting she might come with her own rules. As the snowflakes fall, I think about their individuality. I think about them being as numerous as the stars.  I think, “I only need to name four human beings, what’s so hard about that?” Perhaps when the right name comes to us, she will too.